clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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