...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
