So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize