ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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