People in love make me want to vomit
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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