Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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