Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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