i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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