loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
