so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
