I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
