So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
