hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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