So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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