Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
