TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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