I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
