yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
