Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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