i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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