Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
