you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
