Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
