Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize