Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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