This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize