I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
