the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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