you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
