I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize