I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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