you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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