ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
