oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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