hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
