when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
