Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
where am i from again
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
