I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
