Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys