i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
