You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
