Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
