I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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