I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
