Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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