I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
