This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
