Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize