I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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