things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
