yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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