i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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