I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
