Reggie can tackle my bush.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
