Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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