Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
