If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
