yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
